“You’re not tasting it right.”
When I was in high school I distinctly remember watching some awful anime on some awful Tuesday night in which one character explained that if you do not like sake (pronounced sock-eh) it is due to your inability to taste it correctly.
I mocked the notion that there was a correct way to taste such a beverage, but my friend began to explain all the reasons this could be the case: the temperature, what part of the mouth the sake touched, and how long he let the sake linger before swallowing it could have an effect.
Fast forward to 2011, the year of impending zombie doom. On any given weekend, you will likely find me partaking in the art of what is commonly referred to as beeratry. Or Beerism. Or Beerifying. Or Beering up. Regardless of what you call it, I greatly enjoy trying new and varied beers. I love beer and I love sharing this experience with others. When I try a new beer and realize it is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, I want everyone to know the glory of that sacred nectar.
Upon entering the community of craft brew drinkers, I immediately felt that I was not nearly knowledgeable enough to appreciate the drink that was sitting squarely in front of me. It was overwhelming to look for a beer that had attributes that I thought I might like. I couldn’t tell hops from head, but I knew that I loved the idea of microbreweries and craft beers – it represented something that resounded furiously with the American spirit laying dormant in my chest. I knew I had to persevere.
Luckily, my sake explaining friend actually had become quite the beer nerd over time. I would define beer nerds as individuals who love every aspect of beer and its culture. They can tell where a beer’s ingredients were grown, what time of year they were harvested, and every detail about beer they drink because it is their passion. It’s their life.
Having a beer nerd with you when drinking is fantastic; if you want to know anything about the beer you are tasting, they are happy and excited to explain it to you. If you just want to sit and enjoy a cold one, that’s great too. They want you to have knowledge so that you enjoy your experience that much more. Without a beer nerd, I would never have learned about this culture I can now fully appreciate.
This brings me to the point I wanted to make by writing this article. As I learned more about beer, I learned more about the people drinking it, and the differences betwee a beer nerd and a treacherous beer snob. For the record, I hate beer snobs.
Beer snobs are the jerky jerks who feel that because they have tasted such and such a beer at such and such a time and place they are officially better than you. I am convinced that these morons think they know more about the beer they are drinking than the very people who made it.
Beer snobs like to drink their beer and want to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that THEY are in fact the Beer King of the illustrious Microbrew Kingdom. At best, they usually end up being Dick Prince of Go to Hell Manor.
They enjoy knowing about beer, but figure that nobody could possibly like beer the way they like beer. I mean, they DID drink it on a brewery tour before it was officially released and one time drank with the brewmaster at a pub. Obviously, if you haven’t done that you can’t possibly taste it right.* Their pretentious manner just helps widen the chasm between macro and micro drinkers. They are actively trying to kill the same community that they pretend to love so dearly.
There is hope, though. Over the past few years, I have been noticing fewer and fewer beer snobs and a widely growing interest in new and unique beers. The beer nerds seem to be winning out, as most nerds eventually do. That is because nerds couldn’t care less about the status symbol and monetary possibilities revolving around their vice of choice. They are driven by a passion that would continue to burn on with or without the acceptance of the general public.
So, I guess the real point I am trying to make is that if you find yourself at a bar, looking down at the guy that ordered a pitcher of Miller Light, just stop it. That guy could be craft beer’s greatest supporter if you just buy him a pint instead.
* I would never ever use sarcasm in an article because I am so totally not a sarcastic person.
That pitcher of Miller Light is a legitimate award winning brew in it’s own right! To many snobs (that get paid to be snobs) it represents the perfect American domestic lager. To me it has some personal meaning as well. It reminds me of college, friends that have come and gone, and woman of my dreams.
BEER SNOBS DRIVE ME NUTS! DID YOU SAY NUTS? I WAS NUTS ONCE! BEER SNOBS DRIVE ME NUTS!
The idea of a sommelier drives me absolutely crazy. I really can’t believe someone has the ability to distinguish grape varietals from valley to valley in N. California. Nor can I believe they can taste the mineral content of the soil. I can’t believe any of that. I consider the phenomena of a “sommelier” as implausible as a horse that can count [see Clever Hans]. There HAS so be something more to it.
As a home brewer I find the idea of a beer equivalent to a sommelier even less plausible. The difference between brewing beer and wine making is drastic. The most drastic of which is a bazillion BTUs of FIRE boiling the wort with the furry of ten thousand Irish Car Bombs. Also hops, although incredibly important to the beer, is used in small amounts in comparison to the volume of water and grain. I’m convinced that without additional information a person CAN NOT, from a swash of beer alone, pick the region the hops were grown in, time of year grown, mineral content of the soil beneath them, ect. I’ll give ‘em varietal though. Just as I can eat and apple and tell you it’s a Pink Lady or Gala, beer nerds and snobs may be able to pick out varietal.
Don’t get me wrong, (Hell – I COULD be wrong!) I don’t want the above non-believer rant take away from the awesomeness that has come with the craft beer boom. I share a love for the diversity in the industry and the surprises of a pint beyond the buzz. I too have noticed that there are far more beer nerds than snobs now-a-days and I’m grateful for it. It gives us people to talk. Plus, there’s never a lack of willing participants to persuade into a Boston Lager over a Coors!
Questions:
- What beer was your gateway brew into craft beers?
(Mine was Blue Moon, then Boston Lager, then Bells 2-Hearted when I realized I was into it)
- Pairing beer with food is boring. Pair some video games with a brew or two for us (style of beer or a specific beer name, whatever)
- Where did the Beer Snob touch you, Steve? You can tell us.
Oh, I totally agree about the sommelier. I didn’t mean to imply that beer nerds could tell you all the aspects of a beer because they taste it. I meant they have a tendency to research the beer they are drinking, the individuals that made it, and what makes that beer stand out amongst the rest. This knowledge is acquired before ever tasting the beer, making the beer that much more enjoyable.
As far as gateway beers, I too had to succumb to the loveliness of Blue Moon. I also had a pretty vast appreciation for Guinness and to this day I just can’t get over the solid Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.
Beer and game pairing is actually a fairly simple art. The more intense the gaming experience the lighter the beer. You need to keep in mind the amount of time you’ll have to finish your drink. In games like League of Legends and SC 2 I have a tendency to go Grain Belt or PBR, because I generally have trouble remembering to drink due to the intensity of the games. I consider Halo, WoW, and most other multiplayers that have lots of quick short breaks to be somewhere in between, so there’s actually a lot of room for experimentation there. If you find yourself with a quality beer that you really want to fully enjoy and take some time with, there are two words you should know: Mario Party. PERFECT for drinking any and all beers to.
And that beer snob, he made me see an asshole in public.
Woah!!! We keep forgetting!!! >:O
We need to have a Mario Party… Party!
Shit. It’s Thursday Thursday today. Tomorrow will be Friday Friday according to Rebecca Black. That a perfect time to party. What seat on the couch will you take?
There are so many options. You could kick it on the left cushion, kick it on the right cushion, or even kick it in the middle.
My definition of beer snob differs a bit I must say. A beer snob tends to turn their nose up at the mere mention of a domestic lager unless on the off chance it’s a pilsner brewed by a microbrewery (although this may not even sate them) Most of the beer snobs that take themselves too seriously have gotten to the point that unless the beer is an Imperial (insert style here), Russian imperial stout, made with some screwed up ingredient, or costs $1,000,000 per bottle it is no good and below their station. I can’t say that I don’t enjoy any of those beers but I also don’t care when Nathan Z buys a sixer of Busch Light to throw in the cooler while ice drinking/fishing.
Now onto the sommelier/cicerone (the beer equivalent). In some cases there are crops that do vary that much from the region they were grown in. For beer Cascade hops taste completely different when the are grown in Argentina (noble hops like) versus Washington state (grapefruit character). It not that sommeliers can always taste that the grape was raised in the perfect sandy soil on a southern slope but that they know that this particular wine was made by this vintner using this variety of grape and that it was a dry year giving these certain tones and that it pairs well with twice cooked narwhal steaks glazed with pb&j. The thing is this is their job and are expected to know as much about the product as possible. They are also there to point you in the right direction when you are looking to experience something new based on your previous likes/dislikes. It’s probably a matter of perspective though and I’ve been happy many times with suggestions given to me by people that have spent more time researching their various products than I have.
I think my gateway beer was probably Schell’s Firebrick but I’m sure Guinness extra stout had it’s hand in it as well. The last beer that probably opened my eyes to a different style was St. Bernardus Abt 12.
Would the obvious choices for pairings include a 40oz and Nascar or Old Style while playing the Cubbies on MLB? Personally I think a good pale ale goes well with Halo: Reach and I love a good stout while playing WoW as I don’t care if it warms up a bit while running longer instances.
It’s the research/prior knowledge that sommelier/cicerone folk have that they’d prefer you not know about. They’d rather you think their tongue is inhabited by an indigenous colony of career drunk whaling elves high on ecstasy than simple experience and non-boozing up research. For that is the only true way to know what pairs well with PB&J glazed narwal steaks!
If we had upvotes, you’d have just earned one.
Nonsense. In Seattle, narwal steaks are on every menu.
Wait.. Wait.. Are you saying you should buy Dudes drinks?
Killian’s Irish Red was my first dabble outside the typical domestic brew.. Now I really enjoy various New Belgium brews, but might be somewhat biased since I live in CO and have taken their amazing tour. I love that micro/craft breweries make seasonal variety cases, lets me enjoy their flag ship beer as well as try a less common or seasonal beer. In less than a week I’ll be attending a colorado brewery festival, $25 for unlimited beer for 4 hours.. just gotta be careful, some of the microbrews hit double digit % alcohol! =P
New Belgium has some fantastic beers that have really taken root in Fargo. It was very odd actually, two years ago I’d have had to cross state lines for a flat tire, now it is on every tap in the city. It seems like overnight New Belgium became our brewery of choice! No complaints here.
The ONLY time i drink beer is while eating pizza……and although i have tried MANY craft brews….none of them went as well with pizza as a good ol’ Bud or MGD. Sorry, snobs….it’s just a reality. LOL!
I like a good pilsner with pizza, hamburgers or brats. There aren’t that many craft breweries that make them and the ones that do sometimes overhop them. Personally I prefer PBR or Grain Belt to Bud. Almost all AB products give me a headache for some reason.
If you do want to try other craft beers that aren’t real heavy try a few different blonde ales, kolsch, or possibly helles lagers.